Wow. I found this bad boy in photoshop form the other day, heres the text.

Truely an epic document for the ages.



1.      THOU SHALL NOT USE AN I-MAC
2.      THOU SHALL NOT PLAY SOLITARE
3.      THOU SHALL NOT ‘BUY’ SOFTWARE
4.      THOU SHALL NOT WEAR GLITTER
5.      THOU SHALL NOT SAY “I LOVE BACKSTREET BOYS”
6.      THOU SHALL NOT MISS OPENING DAY OF LOTR
7.      THOU SHALL NOT MISS OPENING DAY OF STAR WARS II
8.      THOU SHALL SIT WITH A HUNCH
9.      THOU SHALL REFER TO “IT” AS A SHAFTER
10.      THOU SHALL SPEND 10 HOURS A DAY AT HIS/HER COMPUTER, MINIMUM
11.      THOU SHALL DRINK FROM THE FOUNTAIN OF MOUNTAIN DEW
12.      THOU SHALL NOT DRINK FROM THE FOUNTAIN OF V8
13.      THOU SHALL HAVE AT LEAST 10 THINGS ON THY COMPUTER THAT  HAVE NO PURPOSE
14.      THOU SHALL HAVE NO FREE HARD DRIVE SPACE
15.      THOU SHALL WRAP THY NAKED BODY IN FIRE WIRE AT LEAST ONCE A DAY
16.      THOU SHALL HAVE A COMPUTER THAT COST MORE THAN THY CAR (SHAZZAM)
17.      THOU SHALL ONLY PLAY MP3’S ON A COMPUTER!
18.      THOU SHALL NOT SLEEP AT A LAN, LEST HE HAVE HIS  “SHAFTER” SHAVED AND REMOVED
19.      THOU SHALL PRACTICE “THE ART OF KNIFING”
20.      THOU SHALL HAVE AN EXTREMELY LOUD AND UNECESARRY SUBWOOFER
21.      ALL CURSE WORDS ARE TO BE REPLACED WITH THE WORD, “WHORE”
22.      THOU SHALL NOT FEAR THE BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH
23.      THOU SHALL NOT DESIRE A PENTIUM PROCESSOR
24.      THOU SHALL SPEAK THE WORDS “RAID”, “SCSI” AND “AMD 2800+ WITH THE GREATEST ADMIRATION (SUBJECT TO CHANGE)
25.      THOU SHALL NEVER STICK 3.5 FLOPPY’S TO THE SIDE OF HIS/HER COMPUTER WITH FRIDGE MAGNETS
26.      THOU SHALL NOT KILL……...ANOTHER MANS COMPUTER
27.      THOU SHALL MAKE FUN OF BRINEY’S COMPUTER, NO MATTER HOW GOOD IT IS
28.      THOU SHALL NOT SKIP LAN’S FOR CHEERLEADING COMPETITION, LEST HE SUBJECT HIMSELF TO PAT’S BUTTOCKS
29.      THOU SHALL NOT TOUCH THE FAT MANS BLASTED CROWN!
30.      THOU SHALL KNOW ALL THE WORDS TO WEIRD AL’S,  IT’S ALL ABOUT THE PENTIUMS
31.      THOU SHALL NEVER USE “CLIPPY” IN WORD
32.      THOU SHALL NOT INTENTIONALLY INSTALL WINDOWS ME
33.      THOU SHALL NOT TOUCH, EAT, PEE ON, OR LOOK AT AN AOL DISC
34.      THOU SHALL HAVE A “QUOTE”
35.      THOU SHALL NOT WORK IN “CAD”
36.      THOU SHALL SNICKER AT BRINEY’S ‘CASE DOOR’
37.      THOU SHALL DE-GRADE THY FRIENDS AT EVERY OPURTUNITY
38.      THOU SHALL EAT BURGER KING
39.      THOU SHALL STRIVE TO OBTAIN “128 MEGS VR BIZZITCH”
40.      THOU SHALL NOT BUY A GEFORCE 4 MX
41.      THOU SHALL NOT DISCUSS HEMROID PROBLEMS WITH HIS STUDENTS
42.      THOU SHALL MARVEL AT ANDREWS “5 TWINKIE” RECORD (READ AS:  “I CAN FIT A LOT IN MY MOUTH”)
43.      THOU SHALL NOT DATE/BE FRIENDS WITH/CHIT-CHAT/GOSSIP/GIGGLE WITH OR ASSOCIATE WITH CHEERLEADERS!!!!!
44.      THOU SHALL HAVE A CPU FAN THAT CAN RIP YOUR MOTHERBOARD INTO 5 PIECES AT THE SLIGHTEST BUMP.
45.      THOU SHALL PREPARE FOR SOME DOOM!
46.      THOU SHALL INSULT DIGILINK SALES REPS AT EVERY OPPURTUNITY.
47.      THOU SHALL LAUGH AT BEST BUY EMPLOYEES WHEN THEY ASK IF YOU  “OVERCLOCK YOUR HARD-DRIVE”
48.      THOU SHALL NOT NAME THY COMPUTER AFTER THEIR PROCESSOR’S OVERCLOCK SPEED.
49.      THOU SHALL NOT LET JUSTIN OPERATE HEAVY MACHINERY / SPECIAL VEHICLES
50.      THOU SHALL NOT LET JUSTIN WIELD A FIRE ARM. MAY GOD HELP US ALL
51.      THOU SHALL REPLACE THE WORD GAY WITH “MEDIA MASTER”
52.      THOU SHALL REPLACE THE WORD RAPE WITH “CATHOLIC PRIEST”
53.      THOU SHALL REPLACE THE WORD VERY WITH “UBER SKIBBY”
54.      THOU SHALL REPLACE THE WORD RETARDED WITH “PEAT MOSS”
55.      THOU SHALL FRAG A CHEERLEADER WITH A SMILE
56.      THOU SHALL ORDER 4 SHAKES WHEN VISITING A&W FAST FOOD
57.      THOU SHALL BRING SOME BLASTED HEADPHONES TO LANS
58.      THOU SHALL STRIVE TO BE A MEMBER OF TECH FORCE
59.      THOU SHALL ASSAULT BOB AT EVERY CHANCE
60.      THOU SHALL KNOW THE EXACT AMOUNT OF DAYS TILL THE NEXT LOTR MOVIE
61.      THOU SHALL NOT USE NETZERO OR JUNO!!!!!!!!!!
62.      THOU SHALL NOT REMIX SUPER MARIO BROTHERS THEME MUSIC  WITH GAY, UN-SKILLED MAD RAPPING SKILLZ
63.      THOU SHALL NOT SANCTION THE USE OF “EVERYDAY” DURING YOUTH MINISTRY
64.      THOU SHALL NOT ASK THE FAT MAN TO SUCK YOUR BALLS
65.      IF THOU CHOOSETH TO BE FRAGGED BY A CHEERLEADER,  THOU SHALL BE CALLED “THE MEDIA MASTER”
66.      THOU SHALL ANSWER THY PHONE “SPACE COMMAND”
67.      THE RENDERING OF A CURSE WORD, IS A CURSE WORD
68.      THOU SHALL NOT USE A ROOM FAN TO COOL THY PIECE OF CRAP COMPUTER
69.      THE LARGER THY COMPUTER, THE SMALLER THY……
70.      THOU SHALL NOT UNDERCLOCK THY COMPUTER

These were also added later on, back about 3 years ago.

71. Thou shall strive to keep up with X in ripped movies.
72. Thou shall NOT strive to have Briney's crap bandwidth.
73. Thou shall strive to intellectually insult those whose comments are stupid and this person which hath saidth the moronic comment.
74. Thou shall scoff at those who BUY CD's, games, and DVD's.

Now, if only we had the quote list.  Wes, can you help us out with that?

-b0b
(...must have it!)

Just wanted to share the wallpaper I've been sporting lately.

I think it fits nicely here.  (Not the one I made earlier Patsy!)

http://img149.imageshack.us/img149/8510/gcpiracy9ad.jpg

No, because I already caught it.

Unfortunately I didn't save the damn raw image, and I can't really edit it.

Get briney to do it, he's good at that shit.

I still like it, its rad.

(Assuming you're talking about the fact that copyright doesn't have a w in it )

Thanks.  Since you fixed it so promptly, I won't point out the unnecessary capitalization.  Weeeeee!

-b0b
(...needs to find some food.)

lol look at wes

mother eff, b0b..


i just woke up my roommate because i laughed quite loudly.






Cait

I do what I can, where I can.

-b0b
(...will always lend a helping hand.  *snicker*)

Whats your incredible secret?!

Lose the gay beard and put some weight back on, you skinny fool.

-b0b
(...sniggers.)