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WesDownersMom
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Random Quote Thread
Oct 29th, 2007 at 12:01pm
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I'm in to bestiality, sadomasochism, and necrophilia... but I guess I'm just beating a dead horse.
  
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Re: Random Quote Thread
Reply #1 - Oct 29th, 2007 at 12:04pm
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I have the heart and mind of a young child... and I keep both of them in jars on my desk.
  

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Re: Random Quote Thread
Reply #2 - Oct 29th, 2007 at 12:09pm
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Butterflies are like random thoughts people have.  They live, they die, they are utterly pointless.
  
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Re: Random Quote Thread
Reply #3 - Oct 29th, 2007 at 12:09pm
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"It is against company policy to sell human beings." -eBay
  

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Re: Random Quote Thread
Reply #4 - Oct 29th, 2007 at 12:10pm
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Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife.  Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.
  
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Re: Random Quote Thread
Reply #5 - Oct 29th, 2007 at 12:10pm
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.
  

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Re: Random Quote Thread
Reply #6 - Oct 29th, 2007 at 12:11pm
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I just neutered the cat.  Now he's French.
  
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Re: Random Quote Thread
Reply #7 - Oct 29th, 2007 at 12:13pm
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Patiently, she waits.  She looked serene standing there, anticipating what you had to say.  You remained quiet, thinking about the question she asked.  You had to get this right.  You cannot afford to make a mistake.  Then, she asks again, "What's it going to be, Patrick?"  You start to fidget.  You always fidget when you get pressured.  Finally, you mumbled, "Give me a short single mocha half and half."
  

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Re: Random Quote Thread
Reply #8 - Oct 29th, 2007 at 12:14pm
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All hail Bob, keeper of our sins, soapbox on the podium of our lunacy, collector of all things human, and a damned nice guy to boot.
  
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Re: Random Quote Thread
Reply #9 - Oct 29th, 2007 at 12:14pm
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Getting caught with a hand in the cookie jar is no reason to stop eating cookies.
  

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Re: Random Quote Thread
Reply #10 - Oct 29th, 2007 at 12:17pm
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There are three people on earth you should never lie to:  Your mother, your pastor, and your network administrator.
  
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Re: Random Quote Thread
Reply #11 - Oct 29th, 2007 at 12:20pm
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"Ah damn. I think I left my towel on the beach in Jutty's vagina." -OlDirtyBen
  

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Re: Random Quote Thread
Reply #12 - Oct 29th, 2007 at 12:20pm
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Espresso, Jack Daniels and Marlboros - because breakfast is the most important meal of the day.
  
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Re: Random Quote Thread
Reply #13 - Oct 29th, 2007 at 12:21pm
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Computer Sales - an industry created to give used car dealers a second career option.
  

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Re: Random Quote Thread
Reply #14 - Oct 29th, 2007 at 12:22pm
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We must upskill ourselves to allow us to leverage technology to achieve a competitive advantage and a synergy with other incentive-oriented departments.  Without that synergy, our company would not be able to shift to a new paradigm or leverage the low-hanging fruit of core competencies to drill down into our game plan and do the heavy lifting needed to become world class!
  
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Re: Random Quote Thread
Reply #15 - Oct 29th, 2007 at 12:23pm
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My computer beats me at Solitaire, but I beat my computer at kick boxing.
  

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Re: Random Quote Thread
Reply #16 - Oct 29th, 2007 at 12:23pm
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Power tends to corrupt, absolute power should be left in the hands of IT professionals.
  
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Re: Random Quote Thread
Reply #17 - Oct 29th, 2007 at 12:24pm
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Diplomacy is telling someone to go to Hell and making them look forward to the trip.
  

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Re: Random Quote Thread
Reply #18 - Oct 29th, 2007 at 12:24pm
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What do they call the person that graduates last in his class from medical school?  Doctor.
  
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Re: Random Quote Thread
Reply #19 - Oct 29th, 2007 at 12:25pm
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Microsoft Windows: A thirty-two bit extension and graphical shell to a sixteen bit patch to an eight bit operating system originally coded for a four bit microprocessor which was written by a two-bit company that can't stand one bit of competition.
  

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Re: Random Quote Thread
Reply #20 - Oct 29th, 2007 at 12:28pm
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"His eyes were cold. As cold as the bitter winter snow that was falling outside. Yes, cold and therefore difficult to chew..."  -Jack Handy
  
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Re: Random Quote Thread
Reply #21 - Oct 29th, 2007 at 12:30pm
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73 Ferengi Rule of Acquisition:  "If it gets you profit, sell your own mother."
  

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Re: Random Quote Thread
Reply #22 - Oct 29th, 2007 at 12:33pm
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I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.  - Mark Twain 
  
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Re: Random Quote Thread
Reply #23 - Oct 29th, 2007 at 12:34pm
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In management's temperate, considered, intellectual opinion, Microsoft sucks and we hate them.
  

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Re: Random Quote Thread
Reply #24 - Oct 29th, 2007 at 12:36pm
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I like my women like I like my coffee... ground up and kept in the freezer.

I like my women like I like my coffee... I don't like coffee.

I like my women like I like my coffee... quiet.

I like my women like I like my coffee... ethically purchased from farming cooperatives in Latin America.

I like my women like I like my coffee... cold and bitter.
  
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Re: Random Quote Thread
Reply #25 - Oct 29th, 2007 at 12:36pm
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"A fear of weapons is a sign of retarded sexual and emotional maturity."
-Sigmund Freud, "General Introduction to Psychoanalysis"
  

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Re: Random Quote Thread
Reply #26 - Oct 29th, 2007 at 12:37pm
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Give a man a campfire and you'll keep him warm for a day, start a man on fire and you'll keep him warm for life.
  
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Re: Random Quote Thread
Reply #27 - Oct 29th, 2007 at 2:22pm
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Quote:
We must upskill ourselves to allow us to leverage technology to achieve a competitive advantage and a synergy with other incentive-oriented departments.  Without that synergy, our company would not be able to shift to a new paradigm or leverage the low-hanging fruit of core competencies to drill down into our game plan and do the heavy lifting needed to become world class!


So much wisdom! You have much to teach us Wes' Mom.


Also, I lol'ed on this one:

Quote:
Give a man a campfire and you'll keep him warm for a day, start a man on fire and you'll keep him warm for life.
  

"Our Constitution is designed only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate for any other."&&&&John Adams&&
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Re: Random Quote Thread
Reply #28 - Oct 29th, 2007 at 4:07pm
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good one I found:
"Over Clocking is a lot like marriage, the outcome is always unpredictable but when your computer goes at least it doesn't take half your shit."
  
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Re: Random Quote Thread
Reply #29 - Oct 29th, 2007 at 4:40pm
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spanky wrote on Oct 29th, 2007 at 4:07pm:
good one I found:
"Over Clocking is a lot like marriage, the outcome is always unpredictable but when your computer goes at least it doesn't take half your shit."


That reminds me of this one:

Turning off the servers in your data center is like putting the old folks to bed in the nursing home.  When you turn the lights back on in the morning, not all of them are going to wake up.

-b0b
(...loves that one.)
  

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Re: Random Quote Thread
Reply #30 - Oct 29th, 2007 at 8:13pm
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If you were to second guess your decision to book some time at a Native American community, that would be a reservation reservation reservation.
~Brian Regan

(Just wanted to show off my new avatar really...it took a while to make...the pumpkin itself, I mean)
  
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Re: Random Quote Thread
Reply #31 - Oct 30th, 2007 at 8:34am
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I just think it's hilarious that it made "play of the week."

-b0b
(...roffled out loud.)
  

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Re: Random Quote Thread
Reply #32 - Oct 30th, 2007 at 10:09am
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wrong thread?

And that pumpkin is pretty awesome, is that cut all the way through our just a bit into the skin?
  

"Our Constitution is designed only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate for any other."&&&&John Adams&&
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Re: Random Quote Thread
Reply #33 - Oct 30th, 2007 at 10:20am
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Yeah, oops.

-b0b
(...shrugs.)
  

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Re: Random Quote Thread
Reply #34 - Oct 30th, 2007 at 5:59pm
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It's through cut, though I must admit that I had to hit my head against the wall after I started cutting and realized that my original design didn't take into consideration attachment to the rest of the pumpkin and that my poor little music Jesus fish would not be able to float in air. Thanks to a few toothpicks though, I was able to salvage it. Thanks for asking. =)

(Back to homework.)
  
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